In the last several days, there’s been an influx of content on my Facebook account from friends sharing videos, all coming from a James Ellis’ Facebook page.
I went to look at his page because seriously, who the hell is James Ellis?
I mean, there are people on YouTube with eleventeen jabillion fans and I’ve never heard of them before. Maybe I’m getting old?
He looks seriously THIRSTY in the picture on his cover photo… Like, buddy, I think if you drank a little more, your veins wouldn’t be so… aggressive.
And bless, him, he started out so humbly!
But eventually, I guess the prospects dried up. What is an attractive, tanned, over-pumped, actor/model/personal trainer/pizza-delivery driver*/faux stripper supposed to do to drum up some business?
It’s time to do some marketing curls… Or pull ups. Or like, burpees (or something, I don’t work out).
So, if you aren’t familiar with me… I have what I call the Google-Fu. Generally speaking, even if I’ve never heard of you, I can surmise a great deal about you by googling your name. Sometimes, I’ll google your name and your city. Sometimes I’ll google your name and “news” or your name and “mugshot” or something like that.
It’s pretty amazing what I can find. I think, in a previous life, I was a private eye. Or the town gossip. It’s just a talent I have.
Anyway, so I googled this guy.
So… Wait… It’s like…
Plastic Man’s website
Plastic Man’s facebook page
Plastic Man’s pictures (number 4 is entitled, “Flashing is Chic”)
Hold up, say what…?
So I immediately go to James Ellis’ website.
Oh… Bless your heart, James Ellis. There is not one single word on his page that even remotely looks Romanian, but Google thinks that his whole site needs to be translated.
His website, while not the worst I’ve seen, is pretty awful. But I wasn’t there to critique his site. Gimme the BIO, man!
Okay. So THIS James Ellis grew up in Indiana. And has STRONG Christian beliefs.
So… Elliot’s James Ellis is a different James Ellis… Another jaunt over to Google gave me not much in terms of identifying the BFF James Ellis, but then I wrangled my ADHD and remembered what I came here for.
THIS James Ellis.
So is this new social media campaign — this effort to become the next best thing to Facebook since George Takei — just a poorly informed (remember, Google thought his site was in Romanian) musclehead trying desperately to rescue his name from the clutches of Elliot Rodger’s legacy? Saturate people’s minds with who you REALLY are so that they don’t confuse you with the other James Ellis, best friend forever to a mass-murderer?
That’s my conclusion anyway. That’s who the hell James Ellis is… Just another over-tanned, over-pumped meat head with a pretty face that thinks because they’ve got a great body, they’re talented.
**Faux-stripper James Ellis looks stupid while the other model steals his thunder “pretending” to be a stripper in Miley’s lap.